Welcome
There are many meeting formats in S.L.A.A. Each meeting's format is decided upon by "group conscience," and is subject to change by that group. Here are some common meeting formats. Several of these formats may be combined in any meeting.
Speaker MeetingOne or more members of S.L.A.A. share experience, strength, and hope by telling their "stories." Each speaker's story provides an opportunity to reflect on our own history, feelings, and challenges.
Topic Discussion MeetingA specific recovery topic is suggested by the members, or taken from S.L.A.A. literature. When this type is combined with a Speaker format, members may also be invited to share how they relate to the speaker's story.
Step MeetingThe group focuses on one of the Twelve Steps, often reading out of the S.L.A.A. basic text, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.The group might also have one person speak on the Step. The meeting is then open for the other members to share on that Step.
Getting Current MeetingMembers are encouraged to briefly share with the group the recent or on-going emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges to their sobriety, or to ask for help if they are in danger of acting out. Sometimes an entire meeting is devoted to "getting current."
Newcomer MeetingThe meeting addresses specific concerns of newcomers to S.L.A.A., or beginners on the road to recovery. Topics often revolve around the first three Steps, sponsorship, bottom lines, abstinence, or withdrawal.
What can I expect from an S.L.A.A. meeting?S.L.A.A. meeting practices vary widely from region to region. Here are some relatively common practices, although not every meeting may be conducted in this fashion.
Who runs the meeting?An S.L.A.A. meeting is run by its members. Typically, there is a member who guides the meeting, another who is entrusted with the group's finances, and perhaps one other who orders the literature for the group. These "trusted servants" are volunteers elected to regular service positions in the group by its members.
What do other people in the meeting do?Many members take part in other aspects of the meeting as well. These service opportunities can involve helping to set up the meeting, identifying oneself as a sponsor, putting away chairs, talking with newcomers after the meeting, or representing the group at the regional ("Intergroup") level.
When do I speak up?Typically, newcomers can speak at any time during the regular portion of the meeting. At some meetings, a specific time is reserved especially for newcomers. This is a time when newcomers can share why they have come to S.L.A.A. or ask questions about the program, which can be addressed after the meeting. Remember, you need not speak if you don't want to.
What's with the money basket?S.L.A.A. groups are self supporting, declining outside contributions. Our expenses, such as rent and literature, are paid by voluntary contributions from our members. We pass the basket, also known as "practicing the Seventh Tradition," and members are encouraged to donate as they are able. No one is ever required to make any donation at an S.L.A.A. meeting. Some of the money collected may be sent on to the local "Intergroup" and to S.L.A.A.'s Fellowship-Wide Services (F.W.S.) office, which provides service to the Fellowship on a regional and worldwide basis, respectively.
So, what's with this God or Higher Power talk?S.L.A.A. is based on spiritual (not religious) principles. The references to God or to a Higher Power acknowledge our powerlessness over this addiction; our faith that a power greater than ourselves, whom some call "God," can and will restore us to sanity; and our decision to trust this Higher Power to do just that. We have found that acknowledgment of some Higher Power is crucial to recovery from our self-destructive behaviors. Members are not required to adhere to any doctrine, either religious or secular. You are welcome in S.L.A.A., whether you are of any faith or none.
Tools for the NewcomerPamphlets:
An Introduction to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis
Questions Beginners Ask
Suggestions for Newcomers
Anorexia: Sexual, Social, and Emotional
Addiction & Recovery
Sponsorship: A Return from Isolation
Withdrawal: Gateway to Freedom. Hope, and Joy
Welcome
Progress not Perfection
Take What You Like and Leave The Rest
Let Go, Let God
Keep it Simple
Easy Does It
First Things First
One Day at a Time
Principles not Personalities
H.A.L.T.: Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
Honesty, Openness, Willingness (H.O.W.)
You are Not Alone
Keep Coming Back -- It Works!
Attend a minimum of at least six meetings in as short a time as possible.
Attend several different meetings to get a flavor of the variety of S.L.A.A. meetings in your area.
If you have questions, speak with a group member after the meeting.
Although hand-holding and hugging can be healing, physical contact is always optional, inside or outside the meeting.
At times, you may perceive another member's response as coldness, avoidance, or as a sign of personal rejection. That member may simply be unable to be present for you. Ask someone else.
It's a good idea to have some phone numbers of sober members of S.L.A.A. before you leave the meeting. You may want to get a new phone number at every meeting you attend. If a phone list is not available, ask individual members whether they are willing to receive calls.
In order to feel more connected to the group, you may want to talk with members, or help put away chairs or find another way to share a few moments with others after the meeting. Some groups have informal get-togethers after the meeting.
Become open to the collective wisdom of the group. Through participation in S.L.A.A., we learn new ways to reduce alienation and isolation from others and to set healthier boundaries.
Get a Sponsor. A Sponsor gives us individual support and guidance in applying the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to our lives. Many of us began practicing our first "healthy" relationship in recovery with our Sponsor.
Read the literature. Keep a journal. Share your feelings.
Be patient with yourself and others. We didn't develop our sex and love addiction overnight --- we won't heal over night. You have your whole life to recover!
Consider your priorities. We might be tempted to think that S.L.A.A. meetings are a good place to find a relationship. Those of us who have tried this, soon found that, to recover, we needed to change our focus. We decided upon a specific period of time (usually several months to a year), in which we would not be involved in any romantic and/or sexual relationships. We took this time to concentrate on our program of recovery.
Hope, Understanding, Support
Gratitude
A Sense of Humor
A Positive Attitude
excerpted © 1997 S.L.A.A.
© 1997-2003 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc.